Possibly The Most Horrifying Banner Ad You’ll Ever See
While browsing IGN’s Wii site, I suddenly found myself frantically hitting F5, hoping for one particular ad to pop up somewhere on the page. You see, I usually have no problem ignoring the ads on pages. I spend enough time browsing the web that it just genuinely feels like my eyes have trained themselves to simply avoid sending those particular, ad-related signals to my brain. Put another, far geekier way, it’s kind of like having Obi-Wan Kenobi over my shoulder, using his Jedi skills to point out “These are not the ads you’re looking for.”
That said, even Jedi mind tricks couldn’t defeat the awesome and awful power of the banner ad I had the misfortune of seeing for the Nintendo Wii and DS game, Geometry Wars: Galaxies.
There are so many things wrong with these images, I don’t even know where to begin. For starters, what’s with the shoulder pads with the pink trim? They look like disposed parts from an original model TIE Fighter. And don’t get me started on the blocky hat with the orange trim. It looks like something Q*bert might have taken a shit on in the mid-80s.
Most painful of all, though, is the ham they got to don these duds and pose for these pictures. What’s with the strained look on his face? It’s an ad for a fast paced shooting game, not for Metamucil.
As if the still images weren’t horrifying enough, if you happen to accidentally mouse over the alternating images, you’re treated to a brief video clip that is perfectly captured with this still image:
Not even a mother could love an expression like that.
The saddest part of this whole affair is that I already wanted the game. I have now begun to question that desire. Seriously, whoever came up with this ridiculous, misguided ad really needs to get demoted to mail room duty. With any luck, that’ll keep them from inflicting further harm upon society.
Tagged: advertising, banner ads, douchebag, DS, Geometry Wars: Galaxies, jedi, misguided, Nintendo, Wii
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